Friday, August 6, 2010

Big Girls Only in the Winter

"I like big girls," he said laughing. "But only in the winter".
I was still at Stacy's party, standing in the living room talking to Stacy's friend, Derrick. Derrick was explaining to me why his new girl was so tiny. As a 6'3', 230 lb+ man, I had asked him why he wasn't with a bigger girl.
"That's f*cked-up" I said laughing because it was kinda funny. I mean, I love big men personally, but I know a lot of phat girls (and boys) don't like to be with other big people. As Kristina explained to me awhile back, "TWO big people together is just TOO much."

Derrick continued, "I mean in the summer, she's hot, I'm hot--we're both sweating? No, It ain't a good look".
I saw his point but rolled my eyes anyway.
Derrick was a good friend of Stacy's and a regular at the boys' house parties/get-togethers. He was a big guy and really cute, funny as hell and sometimes brutally honest.
"I mean, there are rules if you're gonna be with a big girl. For one, she gotta have a pretty face."

The boys on the couch, Brian, and Joey,  chimed in, "Yeah, she gotta have body too. And a shape... it just can't be all fat falling over the place"
I looked away and started feeling a little self-conscience.  Weren't they aware that they were little talking about me, a big girl,  while I was in the same room?

Joey was particularly insistent. He added, "If I talk to a big girl, she's got to be pretty and have a good shape---even if she is a little fat. But it's cool because everyone knows a big girl will do more stuff than a little girl."
I figured 'more stuff' eluded to the sexual department.
"That's not true," I snapped, but all the boys nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, they will," Derrick said. "We've all had our fair share of the nasty big girls."

I went to go sit down and thought about what they were saying. Clearly they were stipulations involved if a man was  to be with a "big girl" or in my case, a "phatty". I thought about those few times in the past when Joey ( a verified male-whore) tried to get my number. One time, he even asked me out right if we could sleep together. Now, Joey was cute and everything but there's very little a man can say to me that can get passed my natural suspicion. After I told him "no" and walked away, Joey had gotten better at being more respectful and we were able to have a few chats without him saying something blatantly inappropriate. But this time I wondered if Joey only tried talking to me in the past because I was  pretty with a nice shape albeit a little fat or if he just wanted a rendezvous with a "nasty big girl". It made me wonder if phatties get an unfair share of jerks because of these stipulations.

The guys continued to talk about women and I took the opportunity to ask some random questions I had about the male perspective. I started with Joey; knowing he had slept with his fair share of single (and not-so-single) DC women, I asked him if there was anybody he'd consider being serious with.
"Yeah, I have someone I'm serious with right now."
"Oh , you have a girlfriend?" I was surprised.
"Well, she thinks she's my girlfriend and she's gorgeous."
"What do you mean 'She thinks she's your girlfriend'?"
He went on to explain that although he tells her that they're an item, he goes out with and sleeps with any other girls he desires. He claims he can't be monogamous but it is OK as long as he doesn't get caught.
" Why be in a relationship if you know you want to sleep with other women?" I asked.
"Because I don't want her to sleep with any other man."
The boys laughed.


That's when I realized that you can be phat, skinny, pretty, ugly, and everything in between and it'll have no effect on the way some men will treat you. Bad guys will be bad and good guys will be good. So, a phatty can meet all kinds of jerks while trying to find the one, but I'm sure a skinny gal can meet the same jerks along the way too.

4 comments:

  1. men can be such JERKS. double standards, sneaky infidelity, just UGH, not attractive

    http://socialitedreams.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG!
    I've been caught in a few of these conversations with men on big women and each time I find myself giving them all a side eye or walking away.
    The truth is, no matter what size a woman is, if she's gonna be freaky...she WILL be freaky.
    At 120lbs or 320lbs.
    Men will always look at women as sexual objects.
    It is their instinct and nature.

    Oh and I have another stipulation for dating a "phatty" that I heard from a man I was talking to a couple years ago..

    I was told that a woman can be big but he has to be able to see her neck.
    Thass right...if you ever considered dating him and had 1.5 chins with only 75% neck visible...it was a no go.
    Now I have a neck like a giraffe...but I pretty much had to tell this fool to go f*ck off somewhere with something rough and dry.

    NO THANKS PLZ!

    lol

    GREAT POST !!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally agree. Men can be real jerks for sure. I'm never surprised to hear of girl being totally wronged by a guy in her life. It just happens so frequently.

    too bad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for the comment Brake. As for this "nasty big girl" presumption: it makes me furious... But I do have to admit I know a lot of girls, big and small who are, well "freaky".
    I guess I can't blame a man for having this presumption if he's met most "freaky" women in his life.

    No neck as a stipulation? Ummm... never heard that one.

    lol... I guess every one has their deal breakers... no matter how weird they appear to be.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails