Coming out of the Woodwork

Woodworkers. Kristina (BFF)  and I use this term frequently. Coined by our experience from men (and women) who, despite time and disinterest, come back into our lives to try and re-open a chapter that we thought we closed long ago. Since I started dating during college, I've experienced my share of Woodworkers (WWs), some being multiple offenders.

The real problem with WWs are their intentions. Most of the WWs in my life have called on me because they've gotten bored or lonely (all of which is probably self-initiated and none of my concern). For the most part these men left your lives 1) on their on accord or 2) was asked to leave, both reason offering red flags for why they departed. In my opinion, the most common reason why someone leaves your life is because they were though with you or you were though with them. Now I'm not talking about old friends you lost touch with; when we talk about WWs, we're really talking about people who you cut out of your life. Period. They don't have to be men either. Sometimes they're frenimies who were swaying too much on the enemy side. Now, you haven't talked to this person for maybe months, years sometimes, and then here they are- calling, emailing, texting, knocking on your door--literally coming out the Woodwork.

Now its nice to think that this person missed you, they've been thinking about you and so forth. However, 9 times out of 10 you stopped talking to them in the first place because they did something you found unacceptable. You might be thinking about the good ole' times and maybe how you missed them too. But beware, always remember the reason(s) that caused the separation.

These days I don't bother with WWs because in the past I've found I've gave too many 2nd, 3rd, and even 4th chances. I hate to say it but people rarely change as the years go by. And whats worst is that you find that you're even more limited in what you can tolerate as you get older. So essentially many things you were fine with 2 years ago are now  no-no's. The combination of your maturity and the WWs (usual) inability to change mostly ends up in disaster after a so-called "reconciliation".

So beware of the WWs. Forgiveness is a great and wonderful thing but that doesn't mean you have to be bosom buddies again. In any case when dealing with WWs, take your time to see if they have changed and whether you're able to have a place for them in your life.

OR, be like me, and just adhere to a sweeping rule : NO WOODWORKERS!